


Radio Waves

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [305]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Heaven, Mention of Suicidal Ideation, Murder, Psychics, before the finale, but it's central, the major character death occurred before the fic, this was written s10, way before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 14:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8493241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: The Mark is gone, but the cost was steep.Dean wants to say goodbye.





	

Dean can’t get the image out of his head. Sam. hands at his side, waiting for Dean to kill him. And Dean had. He’d pushed the blade through his brother’s ribs, unerringly finding his heart. The best that can be said is that Dean didn’t make him suffer, but none of that covers the fact that Dean killed his brother.

Sure, he did it because he was a demon. And Sam allowed it because it would reverse Cain’s trajectory, rid Dean of the Mark. But that’s not all, and Dean knows it.

Sam’s been willing to die for quite a while now. And Dean’s been pushing him this whole time. He can’t even find a starting point in all this, truthfully. He can’t remember any point where he wasn’t demanding more and more of Sam, pushing him to the point where he’d let Dean kill him without a fight.

Dean spends what he later learns to be a month burrowed in the Bunker. He’s human again, thanks to Sam’s sacrifice, so he needs to care for himself again. So he trudges to the bathroom when he needs it, and Cas brings him food even though he can barely speak to Dean anymore. He sleeps, curled up in Sam’s bed, around his pillow, even as the scent is already fading. He guesses Sam wasn’t spending a lot of time in bed in the time leading up to his death.

It takes a month for Dean to work up the ability to leave, to get the nerve to show his face in the sunlight. But when he can, the first thing he does is find a psychic so he can hold a seance.

“Sammy?” he asks desperately, clinging even tighter to the reluctant psychic’s hand. “Sammy, you there?”

It sounds like the old HAM radio a friend of John’s once let Dean play with. “Dean?” Sam’s crackly voice says, and Dean almost cries.

“It’s me,” he confirms. “How…how are you?” he asks.

“Okay,” Sam says. “We’re…rebelling up here. Organizing. Taking heaven for ourselves. I found Bobby. Kevin. Ellen and Jo. Sarah. Rufus. Ash. Jessica…Mom and Dad,” he says. “We’re doing okay.”

“That’s great,” Dean says. He restrains his tears, because Sam doesn’t need to hear it.

“How’re you?” Sam asks.

Dean debates lying, but now of all times, Sam deserves the truth. It’s too little, too late, but it’s the best Dean can do. “Human,” he says. “Look, Sammy, I am–I am so sorry.”

“I know,” Sam says gently. Dean can’t help but notice that he doesn’t offer forgiveness. That’s fine. Dean doesn’t deserve that. “Look, Dean…do this for me, okay? Don’t bring me back. Let me go. It’s time, Dean.”

Dean nods, then realizes that Sam can’t see him. “Yeah. If…if you want. Whatever you want,” he promises. 

“This is what I want,” Sam says lowly. “Dean, I…I gotta go. Look, live a good life, okay? I’ll see you eventually.”

Dean’s not sure he can go to heaven anymore. He nods anyways. “Sure,” he says, closing his eyes. “Tell everyone I said hi. I…I’ll miss you, Sammy.”

“Waiting for you,” Sam says. “Just…take your time, okay?”

The call disconnects and Dean feels like a piece of himself has been cleaved away.

But he’ll let Sam rest now. Sam deserves to have that much from him, at the very least, after everything.


End file.
